us pol (-) 

Once again wondering which GOP nutjob is finally just gonna go for it & say that since we're forcing people to have babies that we can't feed & the schools have become abattoirs, obviously the only recourse is to bring back workhouses.

THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND IS ALMOST UPON US. Did you get your meds? Do you need to call any place that may be closed Monday (especially ones that may also be closed a half-day on Friday, like many doctor offices)? Don't get caught out, my loves.

Once saw a post from Elsewhere that suggests pronouncing LGBT as "el jibbity" & now I cannot say or type LGBTQ+ without humming "I like the way you queue it, el jibbity, gotta plus it up."

Things like this are why I suspect I was ate lead paint as a child.

I love when people give me things to say no to, & then just keep rephrasing the question or request, as if that will change the no.

All it does it give me the opportunity to continue saying no in increasingly theatrical ways.

No.
Grinning no.
Telenovella no.
No with a music cue.
No with jazz hands!

Many people tried to teach young me how to cook & mostly they just terrified me. Then I had a dream about an elderly Creole woman teaching me, & she's been with me since.

Tonight, I made a roux & when I was just a half-step too slow gettin' my stir on, I imagined her behind me saying, "You gotta WHISK, baby! Whisk for Jesus!"

She did not know what was so funny. Neither did the family members who heard me cracking the eff up in the kitchen.

Turns out Mom's shoulder is so arthritic that the bone is kind of collapsing. The only treatment is corticosteroid injections, so we did that. Here's hoping it helps.

Taking Mom to see ortho today. She's done something heinous to her right shoulder/arm. I have a feeling it's going to be something surgical, simply because she's not a surgical candidate & that's how our luck runs.

In the Before times, I did & & the occasional unholy union of them both. I stopped for a handful of reasons, & one of them was that the embroidery floss situation got so out of hand that I could not even, nay, not the littlest bit.

I have thunk & thunk, & I have decided that before I consign the entire hobby to the dustbin of history, I will restore order to the floss & see how I feel about it then.

Aww, man. Our author's gone & gotten smitten. We've been stuck for 10 chapters while the author gazes adoringly at an idea. Meanwhile, the Big Twist has become obvious & there's 7 chapters to go. Ah, well.

A reminder that A HOLIDAY WEEKEND IS COMING. Do you need med refills?

I've just seen someone call Dr. Pepper "bbq sprite" & I need to lay down on the kitchen floor about it.

Still enjoying THE DEATH OF JANE LAWRENCE.

Girlfriend got drop-kicked into the gothic horror of it all, has kept her shit more or less together, & now? Oh, lawd, she done run outta give-a-damn & got a sledgehammer.

questionable disposition of canine remains in folklore 

Listening to a ghost story in which a ceiling caves in & the carcass of a dead dog stuffed with gold falls from the rafters.

On one hand, that's a pretty macabre piggie bank. On the other hand, it IS some A+ theft prevention. Nobody's gonna look there.

What I need you to understand about my life is that someone could be handing out bags of free money by a roadside in my town & I would not go to them if their location wasn't on my way home from work.

Morning discussion with my bestie began with oohing & ahhing over a farmer's market & ended with us deciding that God has to keep doing the marketing hustle (the Bible is a PowerPoint presentation, church is a weekend getaway that's actually a time-share scam, etc) because his product is inferior. Satan gets to chill because sin sells itself.

I want to meet whoever made it necessary for there to be a $1K limit on McDonalds Doordash orders.

My mother has once again demanded that I give her the log-in info for her banking accounts & relinquish the task of paying her bills & balancing her checkbook. I have done so, knowing full well she will be handing it all back to me in a week because she can't handle it.

My whole life is just a series of bullshit productions, in which we all pretend various things aren't what they are. It is exhausting.

Farrell boosted

My favourite swipe typo of the day: "Norse cancelling headphones". Presumably that means Bluetooth is turned off.

I have yeeted AT&T from my household. I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT THAT NIGHTMARE WEBSITE AGAIN!

Never being able to venture far from home lest my patient or my mom need me, I've not had the pleasure of meeting several of my husband's friends. This has resulted in several of them joking that I do not actually exist.

Have...have I done it? HAVE I BECOME A CRYPTID?!

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