But we have a new plan. The light is failing and it’s very quiet. There is no sign of Carl or Jerry. I am going to visit the loo, arm myself with a broom, and step outside to see if Jerry can be located.
All right. My mission is reconnaissance. Objective 1 is to locate Jerry the Crow. Objective 2 is to get a visual on the fence corpse. I will go armed with a broom and have visited the loo.
We decided Carl was bigger and meaner, so this HAD to be Sandra or maybe Jerry. If it was Jerry we were going to be super relieved but it still didn’t answer the Corpse Question.
Anyway, Buddy is on his walk with his humans, Boxnoggin is very unhappy because HIS humans will not let him have any fun, Maybe-Sandra is perched on a dead branch, Carl is somewhere, and we can’t verify Jerry.
Jerry is still alive. Jerry seems unable to fly though there’s a lot of wing-flapping. My daughter advanced the notion that Jerry might just be a prima donna?
Sandra is keeping watch over Jerry. We were unsure about Carl. We discussed the box Jerry will need, which I will put on the table with a towel in the bottom and some water and some sunflower seeds.
But now my daughter is INVESTED in Jerry, while I point out that I am already going above and beyond in this Jerry situation, ESPECIALLY with a fence-corpse involved. Raccoons are outside my remit.
I was heading back to my office to update you lot when my daughter yelled “THERE’S CARL!” So of course I let out a yelp and booked it back down the hall.
So, just to catch up, we have Jerry the Possibly Injured Crow, Carl and Sandra watching him, confused dogs, a UPS truck, Buddy from up the street, and music plus crowd noise from apparently nowhere.
…are you guys bored? I feel like this isn’t interesting to anyone but us and here I am clogging your timeline. BUT TOO BAD, I PAID FOR THIS INTERNET AND I’M GONNA USE IT
So my son came out of his room for a snack (he’s been swearing at CSGO I guess?) and we had to update him on Jerry, Carl, Sandra, Buddy, the music from nowhere, and all this.
Sandra is still up in the branches keeping watch. Carl appeared, fluffed up and very agitated. Jerry is still in the northwest corner, flapping and hopping.
So, as soon as dusk gets thick enough I will be looking for a possibly wounded, flightless crow. In the dark. And also attempting to verify the fence-corpse situation.
Also, several small birds—chickadees? Maybe? I’m no ornithologist?—are VERY INTERESTED in the northeast corner. I am unsure if they are cheering Jerry on or just interested in the possible fence-corpse?
BUT! My son reports that he has heard the music for the past few evenings, possibly coming from the elementary school. So the hallucinatory musical soundtrack of the Jerry Watch Situation 2021 has now been explained.
Nothing can explain the rest of this bullshit, especially the fence-corpse (which may or may not have been Jerry), but at least we’ve got the music sorted.
I was going to attempt to lure Carl and Sandra away with oyster crackers but my daughter argued against that plan because Carl is so deeply worried about Jerry.
The dogwood is in the northeast corner. It is, along with the possibly-dead oak sapling, the closest tree to the Jerry Situation, as well as the possible fence-corpse.
Tom Hiddleston has disappeared (squirrels tend to go to bed early) and there is no sign of Sandra. The humans in the house are preparing for the mission in their own ways.
ANYWAY, the oyster cracker plan was nixed because my daughter doesn’t want to be responsible for whatever injuries may occur. Allies can be difficult. Eisenhower never had to deal with this shit.
So, once it gets dark enough that Carl and Sandra can’t see us, my son will hold the flashlight, I will take point with the broom, and my daughter will hang back ready to cover our retreat.
Objective 1 is to locate Jerry. Objective 2 is to verify the fence-corpse or lack of it. Both objectives lie in the northwest corner of the yard and can ideally be reached in the same trip.
We have decided on a Jerry condo (a largish Amazon box that came back from the coast bearing seedlings last weekend) because it needs room for: Towel, water source, food, and (hopefully) Jerry the Crow.
If Jerry’s spend the entire evening in the corner of the yard near a fence-corpse, Jerry might in fact be a bit peeved. Or if Jerry was stuffed in the fence and only recently emerged, he can’t be in a very good mood.
(I am surprised to see a squirrel out this late but the way things are going…)