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Okay, we can all relax. The raccoons did not trash the Asshole Crow Condo overnight.

And I’ve seen Carl. Unfortunately Jerry is still MIA.

My life now is apparently rolling out of bed to discover the cat has tossed the kitchen counters at midnight looking for ‘nip and then arming myself with a broom to go outside.

No sign of Jerry in daylight. Even Boxnoggin can’t find him.

At least I didn’t step in warm dog pee. The light of morning is good for something.

I took the dogs (and broom) back in, and went back out to get photo proof that the Asshole Crow Condo was unmolested by raccoons because I knew my darling child worried about it.

Almost dropped my phone coming back up the stairs because OHAI, IT’S CARL.

Same big crow, same ruffled shoulders, same hellish glint in his beady little eye.

And now, along with looking for injured black birds in the dark, stepping in warm dog pee, finding the kitchen tossed for the cat’s drugs, and the broom situation, I’m standing on my back steps pleading with a crow to carry messages.

“CARL, STOP YELLING…THE BOX IS FOR JERRY, WE’RE WORRIED…DON’T YOU SWEAR AT ME, I STEPPED IN PEE FOR HIM…”

I HAVE NOT EVEN HAD COFFEE

I WOULD REGISTER A COMPLAINT, BUT TO WHOM?

@lilithsaintcrow That would be Bethany, but she's not in yet (watch for a crow with a faint gray strip above her left eye).

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