“Are the geese made out of magic or does the spell steal them from somewhere?”

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“Bert and Ernie work as a couple because they each think they’re the smart one.”

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“Look, if my DM doesn’t think Yakety Sax is playing, I’m doing something wrong.”

“I don’t know what the hell that is, but it’s not red velvet.”

Thank you for playing , the game where I post bits of dinner conversation and you get to guess. (Or wonder.)

We’ll be here all week. :P

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“Your George Carlin impression is getting better. Do the seven words thing.”

*horrified* “At the TABLE?”

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“For about ten minutes my hair was great and I thought I was a main character.”

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“Look, all I know about Shaman King is what you’ve told me, and I distinctly remember you mentioning a pompadour.”

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“No, no, no. A dog is INSTANT karma. A cat is delayed karma.”

“There’s a road trip and they’re handing out whole-ass children, it’s gotta be a Disney movie.”

“You know, that movie where Julie Andrews says ‘fuck you’ with her face the whole time.”

“That’s… the best description of Mary Poppins I’ve ever heard.”

Me: “I gotta go write a gay couple escaping from barbarians.”

My daughter: “One, living your best life. Two, can they take us with them?”

Also, “If I can’t feel my arteries hardening, it’s not pepperoni pizza.” My child, ladies and gentlemen!

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“I used to have standards, but motherhood changed all that.”

“You can tell a lot about a person by asking their feelings on accordions.”

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Ragged Feathers

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