M of Ragged Feathers @signalstation@raggedfeathers.com

I will burn a MILLION favourites and reposts to fix a typographical error. I will walk into hell itself wearing shoes constructed of matchbooks to hunt the typographical error to its very nest.

But I will NEVER just take a moment to reread a post before sending it out into the world to catch the error in the first place. This is my solemn vow, etched in fire on my shining soul.

Signs Your Exorcist May Not Be Legit

1. Their sole piece of equipment they call a "Ghostbustin' stick," which you suspect is a storm-blown tree limb from your neighbor's lawn.

2. They claim they learned how to exorcise "from the streets" and so you ask "Which streets?" but when you go to those named streets, they still look pretty haunted actually.

3. When asked their favorite thing about being an exorcist, they say "Working in a field that has no centralized licensing authority."

I am a phoenix, an unkillable weed, a scattered clutch of eggs, and the loss of witches.town and a.weirder.earth has only made me more powerful.

I use Mastodon as a place to write microfiction, mostly. Oddly horror-focused for someone who doesn't enjoy being scared.

I've written pseudonymous nonsense for Horrible Vacuum as George G.G. George (if you like witches/cannibals/humor) and everything else is at signalstation.com

I make music mixes, live in the SF Bay Area. Still alive.

Me (after an assassin has dramatically revealed that they have successfully tricked me into drinking poison from my goblet): You realize-- erk-- that this just means you were afr--ugh. Afraid to face me in the marketplace of ideeeeeaaaassss....

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was the one it looks like he sawed a woman in half, but then she was whole again?!?

Maybe the Devil had better tricks, I don't know for sure, I left early 'cause Gerry said the Amoco had discount beef sticks and I didn't want to risk them selling out.

Jerk move that I haven't thought about since high school:

Emptying your trombone's spit valve on someone else's shoe

Sound doesn't carry in a vacuum, so it is SUPER easy to put "Kick Me" signs on an astronaut's back.

With all that's going wrong in the world, I think it's worth remembering that there is a simple solution, and that's getting rid of stuff I myself don't like without any debate or delay, thank you, that should fix most of it.

Donutouch
Defensive - on skin-to-skin contact with baker-wizard, save vs. petrifaction or from point of contact start turning into donut texture

Let Them Eat Cake
Targeted individual finds mouth full of cake that magically renews. Chewing/swallowing/spitting provides only temp. relief. Inhibits actions because target can only breathe through nose

Sooner or Latte
A soup bowl sized latte with a milk foam cat lazing as if it's a hot tub, but it explodes by proximity

#WeBuiltHashtagsThatScreenReadersCanParseBecauseWeCouldNeverConsideringWhetherOrNotWeShould

Forty generations worked that mine. Bringing up rocks. Nobody bought those rocks.

The miners said the real treasure in those underground passages was the friendships they made, so they set up an export business, shipping friendship by boat to lonely countries. Friendships that still had a whiff of the soil.

On the crates, inscribed: What's Mined Is Yours

If there's one thing I've learned in my long life on this planet, it's that you can always trust big butts and smiles, either on their own or in combination. Now to take a big sip of this mug of poison and take a listen to some of this Motown Philly music I've been meaning to get to...

Manny and the Pedis is a great name for a vocal group, if your name happens to be Manny and you're looking for a group name.

Right, so, there's this game, Dialect:
https://thornygames.com/pages/dialect

In it, a circle of players create language-- words, jargon, etc.-- specific to an invented subculture that, over the course of the game, will disappear. The culture and the language.

It comes with a varied set of prewritten "Isolations", which is the game term for the communities/idea spaces.

And even though I haven't played it yet, I'm thinking: Wouldn't it be fun to write a vampire scenario?

I was just in the mens restroom at work at the same time as a stranger, and the second this gentleman began to urinate, his phone gave off this lovely three note chime, then again, twice more.

And believe me, the urge was great to say aloud: "Man, I wish /I/ could make chimes like that when I pee."

Anyway, that's why I have awarded myself the Bathroom Hero of the Day award for superhuman restraint.

Not enough people give Generation X credit for inventing algebra.

My grandfather was wearing latex gloves and had his hands deep in the batter filling a cake pan, laughing and saying he was allergic to the batter.

But it was set-up for a gag because he brought out the baked cake which had the gloves embedded in it.

He then blew hard into the latex gloves to rapidly over-inflate them, causing the cake to erupt, cake chunks blasting the family while he cackled.

Pretty solid bit.

I feel like if I lived in a small town, I'd definitely end up being the sort of weirdo who has a sculpture on the front lawn of an elephant holding a martini glass, or something.