M of Ragged Feathers @signalstation@raggedfeathers.com

Be the dark wings blotting out the sun that you want to see in the world.

I am a phoenix, an unkillable weed, a scattered clutch of eggs, and the loss of witches.town and a.weirder.earth has only made me more powerful.

I use Mastodon as a place to write microfiction, mostly. Oddly horror-focused for someone who doesn't enjoy being scared.

I've written pseudonymous nonsense for Horrible Vacuum as George G.G. George (if you like witches/cannibals/humor) and everything else is at signalstation.com

I make music mixes, live in the SF Bay Area. Still alive.

YOU HAVE SIGNED UP FOR
Dracula's House of Jokes!
A DISTRIBUTION NETWORK FOR laughs! RUN BY [undisclosed]

TODAY'S MESSAGE
What do you get if you come to my grand estate outside of town beyond the mists I can have my driver pick you up ha ha ha no don't put the part where I'm laughing that makes it sound like a trap no don't say anything about a trap this is a nice mailing list for jokes and invitations to my estate oh it's ruined do not send

[UNSUBSCRIBE]
[next billing cycle: Jul 1]

[relatable content for good children june 30 2018 early edition]

A SLOVENLY CHILD: oh boy, that was a good meal, time to go outside and play, abandoning my dishes on the table and not washing my hands!

YOU (A GOOD CHILD): anything I've touched must be cleansed with fire lest it fall into the hands of my enemies, who can fashion a totem from any crumb that touched my lips and bend the universe against me through the connection I once had with it... I must move through this world without a trace

) No starting in taverns or bars. The party starts every adventure in a deep pit outside of town. The question is put to them: What are you doing in the pit /this/ time? And how are you getting out?

) No more evil geniuses. The party's nemesis should be an evil idiot who believes themselves a genius, but they're just lucky.

) A lock that can't be picked but responds to requests for enthusiastic consent

Sure, I /could/ get back to editing the writing project I'm entirely bored with

but I could also start a Discord server with no members and no need it's serving so I can read through settings and turn things on and off to see what they do

Sharpen your teeth and wind your hempen binders, it's time to follow the following:

) The Stars - See how they bend?

) Ajdur, The Mouth Full of Ashes - Want to be rid of desire, dancing for months straight in service of this being that drowns pleasure in its wake? Follow!

) Kult Buddies (TM) - If you prefer your cultist robe to have a cute logo & your name on it, follow the KBs! They're hiring! Ask for Gary!

Just found a locked chest full of WHILE YOU'RE OUT notepad phone messages left for me from The Jerk Store. My wife's been hiding them from me... for years, it looks like, according to the dates on these.

I wonder if they still need me?

Who wants to come over and play board games? I've got 'em all, I've got:

* ESCAPE from SEVERAL MONKEYS ISLAND
* DICE MASSACRE
* THAT'S LIFE: The Game Played with Wet Napkins
* ALIENS ABDUCTED MY HEALTHCARE
* Prussia 1882: 700 Miniature Soldiers Edition with Kickstarter Exclusive Bandage Packs and Soggy Boots
* Monopoly (SACCO & VANZETTI edition)

fyi necromancers operate under the same rules as undercover cops

once you've scraped the gravesoil from your eyes and out of your maw with your skeletal fingertips, if you ask them 'are you a necromancer?' they have to say 'yes' if they are

[relatable content for good children june 27 2018 early edition]

TEEN: aw man, my parents are so uncool, they always hide the car keys inside this drawer full of amulets that quiver with power and draw the eye and hand from across the room with unspoken compulsion and I just need to get in practice with parallel parking

YOU (A GOOD CHILD): grasp the amulets and let them burn your skin. we won't need cars when we can master the air itself

i gotta 5-4 decision for you... 5 fingers from a fist make 4 knuckle marks on your regressive do-nothing robe-wearing fascism-excusing faces

there, that solved nothing

visit scenic SECTOR ZETA where the cyberdreams of the 80s & 90s are alive and well!

we've got:

) razorgirls and rental phones
) sex bucket arrays with parallel processing
) a neon sign
) a guy who wears those sunglasses that are just, like, a line? Like, straight across?
) money is called 'creds'... every day!

bring the family and bring your deck to jack in today!

Found out the translation plugin I got in my throat for this trip has been translating everything I say into a sales pitch for vitamin supplements because my payment for the paid version didn't go through and the ad-supported freemium version got hacked by pharmaceutical unaffiliates, so...

How's your Monday going?

Got the new StoMACH 2 installed at my neighborhood organic street surgery 'cause my job updating database tags to add "mood" descriptors to financial transactions had me feeling confident I'd be able to afford the patented StoMACH 2 vitamin slurry packets, like, forever, but even though I prepaid for a 5 year contract, their funding didn't come through so the admins all moved to an undersea tax shelter, all orders cancelled and I can't digest anything

how's your Monday going?

@ajeremias @bob

4 out of 5 dentists agree:
Those aren't teeth and the examination room's door should be barred immediately with whatever furniture is available, then reinforced, before the entire place is lit on fire.

The 5th dentist never left the examination room and will be missed.

[relatable jokes for good children june 25, 2018 early edition]

THE NEWS: oh boy, things are uncivil, you should probably be concerned though no one is asking your opinion about anything

ME: [ensconced inside a hermit shell-like structure made of unread books, mud brick, and pointy sticks] I need a bigger shell

In another tab, I'm drafting a newsletter which will contain some microfiction, some words and some pictures: the sorts of wonders you can't find ANYWHERE ONLINE and if anyone tells you you can, you turn right around and leave that 2-bit carnival barker behind 'cause you don't need what they're peddling.

You need what I'M peddling.

Which is nonsense.

https://tinyletter.com/signalstation

If you ever find yourself in possession of a pit of creamed corn, I assure you it's a matter of days not weeks before you've exhausted all its possibilities, and from then on its a tax liability, and an environmental hazard, and every neighbor with a missing pet gives you dirty looks as if you know the pit's secrets, but friends, the pit is a mystery to all.

Some days I'd like to find the person who invented "dignity" and knock them into a pit of creamed corn.