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I would like to learn how to make friends as an adult without, preferably, leaving my house and if possible without meeting new people.

This "joke" prompted by viewing a video about the science behind loneliness and going "oh... that's the hole I've been slowly falling into for 10 years. ... Thanks, science."

youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-m

@signalstation first you're going to need some cloud hosting because you have to set up a "Mastodon instance"

@signalstation

Theoretically this is what this here thing is for but how do friends any more.

@signalstation Yea I had a lot of issues with this video. I want to see the study that correlates loneliness with diabetes and all the other conditions they listed. I mean it's very possible lonely people don't take care of themselves leading to the other issues, but it felt weird the way it was presented.

I'm curious about the mobile device aspect, as Jonathan Haidt has talked about how kids should have phones until they're 14+ and most tech CEOs don't like their kids have devices at all.

@djsumdog

Yeah, the "cancer deadlier / Alzheimer's worse" bit went by awfully quickly.

But I assumed it was just short-hand for "anything that's putting your body under long-term low-level stress makes any other issue harder to deal with."

Phones, I suspect, are a red herring, as I've been meaning to read "Bowling Alone" since it came out. It charts the societal shifts that undercut a number of social outlets before the ubiquity of smart phones.

smile.amazon.com/Bowling-Alone

@signalstation Harris will go on to say phone probably aren't as bad once your in high school .. depends a lot on the person and usage. I personally want to switch to a Plasma device; write my own apps and get more control .. but I disable a lot of notification and stuff anyway.

Huh..so is this book about the greater shift to things like chain-watching TV or getting away from social actives in general? Does it pre-date the Interweb era?

@djsumdog

It predates the internet, insofar as was charting the 50s to 90s.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bowling_

But I haven't read it. Just prompted me to put a hold on an ebook from the library for it. A modern convenience that spares me from mingling with others on mass transit or among the stacks.

@signalstation I love reading on the train. I think the lack of mass transit in some areas makes things worse for society. I realize we've never really interacted with people. Even in the 60's all the videos show people buried in newspapers .. by the 90s everyone had walkmans. But simply being on a train and seeing all those people, sharing your 8-5 .. it changes the way we think. We see people, all people .. something you don't get in your car.

@djsumdog

I've read articles about how SF's mass transit would be improved if middle class and rich people had to ride it 'cause they'd use their political clout to force improvements.

And I think mingling with different-- and sometimes discomfort-inducing people-- builds good social muscles. But it's a hard sell if you don't /have/ to do it.

@djsumdog @signalstation I love public transit, in ways I could not even begin to explain to my family. The closest they could relate to as far as not wanting to drive goes is obliviousness making it dangerous, but I actively like trains and buses. Seriously though, fuck cars and car culture

@signalstation start using pleroma instances instead of mastodon, they are very comfy, my pleroman fellows are like family to me

@xeno

How does the software behind the platform make a difference?

@signalstation to put it short, some certain features, dev personalities, and relative heaviness of each tends to attract admins and communities with distinct attitudes and expectations from the fediverse.

@signalstation This is why I make up people to be friends with.

This isn't even really a joke. Being a writer for me means never having my chatacters ever really go away.

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