Handy "Wild West" to "Weird West" conversion table:
gunslinger --> bullet rat
cowpoke --> bovimancer
struggling farmer --> dust mouther
devil at the crossroads --> devil inside each and every gaze, from every porch, from behind every screen, in the hearts of every townsfolk and every beast that scuttles across the land and ain't nuthin' gonna save you, an' yer guts is measured by how many claw marks you leave in the dirt when you's dragged to Hell
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